Posted: November 23, 2016
James M. Hill Memorial High has unexpectedly been hit with a wave of mass immigration, the final destination for many on a long journey from all over the United States after hearing we have a president named Hillary.
A student councilor was quick to add that many are only temporarily relocating to the school so that they can practice running away from their new president on our quarter mile track.
“I like it here, because there’s enough camo wear to just blend in if they come looking for us,” said a new JMH student.
Some Tommies are still wary of the newcomers.
“If you don’t know what a friggin’ poutine is, how can we be sure you share our values?” argued a local hardliner.
“I don’t know man, I just don’t like sharing the breakfast room,” complained one of the skeptics. “A school just ain’t a school without bagels."